The Conclave, By Vinnie Nauheimer

Received by email from the author, Vinnie Nauheimer.

Thank you, Vinnie.

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I think Vinnie’s poem captures the feelings of many about the cardinals and the church of which they are princes.


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Conclave Cardinals

Conclave Cardinals

The Conclave

By Vinnie Nauheimer

Old dinosaurs plodding through ancient doors;

Self-importance bouncing off marble floors;

Aging bones make it difficult to kneel;

No indications of missing a meal.

Museum pieces both living and dead;

Stackable dolls painted bright blood red.

Long in tooth; extremely short on truth,

When it comes to vile sins against youth.

Carnivores pretend to be herbivores

Bloody hands betray the biggest whores.

All want to be Tyrannosaurus Rex

Wearing the white hat with muscles to flex.

Sistine Chapel with its beautiful walls;

Contrasts markedly with old dried up balls.

Hypocrisy wearing bright scarlet red

Shameful color of the devil’s own bed

The secret conclave where they set their tones;

Their mausoleum filled with ancient bones.

When nothing changes, all becomes a farce;

Old men blowing smoke up each other’s arse!

The storm is gathering; angry, dark clouds.

Soon the dinosaurs will be wearing shrouds.

Remnants of a once proud church on display.

Dinosaur bones for which tourists will pay!

    10 Responses to “The Conclave, By Vinnie Nauheimer”

  1. ERW Says:

    Oh boy, I have to print this out without running out ink and paper, when the intire blog follows.
    To bad, I am such a compter dummy

    What a precises, honest assessment. Gratitude to Vinnie.

  2. Frank Lostaunau Says:

    porch monkeys

  3. Frank Lostaunau Says:

    My suggestion is that Cardinal Sodano be made into the Pantry Queen and Cardinal Bertone be given a new toothbrush and directed to scrub all the floors in the Sistine Chapel.

    everybody would say very lovely, very lovely…

  4. Frank Lostaunau Says:

    Italians miffed that Scola lost! Don’t be too surprised when il papa francisco eats a poison fig and there’s another conclave in about 60 days: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2013/03/16/italy-pope-scola-francis/1992655/

  5. vinnie Says:

    Interesting comment about the fig. A friend, who is still practicing, said the same thing only she gave him ninety days.

  6. Thomas Says:

    The blood of Italy runs through Francis’s veins even if he lived afar. I cannot see this guy eating figs…maybe a fig newton now and then, or a prune, but a pope in his right mind would never entertain a fig….at least not in public. Yes, Vinnie…the good ole days of the Church are long gone…who would have ever thought it possible…the Vatican on the verge of collapse? I do like the idea of the new pope possibly meeting with SNAP—they are the experts on clerical abuse in the Church of Rome, and the crisis deepened merely because hierarchy did not want intrusion or help with finding the solutions to that which is shameful in this Church. The new pope has a new beginning in order to make correction and change what needs to be changed. His actions will either instill some trust…or forever erase it from even the minds of the laity. Hummmmmmm….after all the Vatileaks they still have whores in Rome…..the nerve!!!!!!!!! :-)

  7. vinnie Says:

    but a pope in his right mind would never entertain a fig

    Thomas, I wasn’t talking about him doing it voluntarily and I don’t think Frank was either. It wouldn’t be the first time a pope’s tenure was cancelled.

  8. tina Says:

    thanks vinnie tina

  9. ClevelandGirl Says:

    Awesome, Vinnie! However, you forgot to mention all of their custom-designed lace patterns, LOL! Thanks! Gave me a smile today!

  10. Thomas Says:

    I was only kidding Vinnie. This pope has lots of stuff on his plate…hopefully no one will slip him a poison fig!!!!!

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